Nothing But Light
by only-some-loser
Summary: The Ghost may be gone, but Mac is not okay, and like Matty said, if anyone can cheer him up, it's Jack. (tag to 3x08, Revenge Catacombs, Le Fantome)


**AN: Here is my tag to 3x08, Revenge + Catacombs + Le Fantome. If it hadn't been for the lack of Jack, this would be one of my favorite episodes. Regardless, I did really like it, and I was delighted to see Holland Roden. I adored her on Teen Wolf, but it was nice to see her in a role a bit closer to her own age. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!**

* * *

Jack hated not being there with his team. He truly hated it. Yeah, maybe that other team had needed some extra manpower to take down whatever cartel or thing it was they were doing - Jack didn't care, he wanted to be with his own team - in Brazil, but he hated that it was him who had to go. Why did it have to be him when he had a team and kids who needed him? If something happened to Riley or Bozer while he was gone he would freak out, and if something happened to Mac, then only God Himself would be able to control his fury. But he knew something was wrong. He just knew it. So he decided to call Mac. But the kid didn't answer, his phone went straight to voicemail. That was never a good sign when it came to Mac. So he called Matty instead.

"Jack, I really don't have time right now," she answered.

"Is Mac okay?" Jack asked, cutting right to the chase. All he needed to know was that his boy was alright, and he would be satisfied. He would find out why he so scared for the kid later, when he got home and figured out what his kids had been up to while he was gone, but for now, he just needed to know that his boy was okay.

"I can't have you worrying about him right now when you're on a mission of your own. Mac is a big boy, and he'll be fine."

"I always worry about that kid, always, and you know that. But you didn't answer my question." Jack took a deep breath. "Is Mac okay?" he repeated.

"He will be. Just finish your mission and get back here as soon as you can so you can see for yourself," Matty said. That sent Jack's alarm bells off. Something was definitely wrong. If Mac was fine, then Matty would just say as much, but she didn't, and she specifically said that he should get home soon, meaning that the longer he would be gone, the worse Mac would get. That helped a bit. That meant that Mac was physically fine - or at least Matty was unwilling to tell Jack otherwise in that regard - but needed Jack to be there for him emotionally. The kid often struggled with emotions by himself, but Jack was always there for him to lean on, and Jack wanted nothing more than to be able to hold his kid in his arms and make sure he knew that everything was going to be okay. He needed to get back to LA as soon as possible. If they didn't wrap this up within the next twenty-four hours, he would be leaving them high and dry. He didn't care, or have any loyalty to this team that just needed extra manpower. They could get that anywhere, guys like him were a dime a dozen, but Mac couldn't get the help he needed from just anyone. He needed Jack, and Jack alone. And Jack was going to be there for him no matter what. "But you should call him tonight," Matty continued in a soft, almost sympathetic voice. "He needs you, whether or not he wants to admit it."

"You say the word and I'm on a plane in ten minutes."

"No, no," Matty said, quickly cutting Jack off before he could get even more riled up. "That won't be necessary. Just call him when it's evening in LA, and you should be fine."

"...okay," Jack said, still hesitant about the idea of not dropping everything to get to his kid. "Keep him safe."

Matty sighed. "You know the job, Jack," she said in that soft voice. "I've got to go, just call him later." She hung up.

Now it was Jack's turn to sigh. Something was definitely wrong. He just hoped that Mac would be okay until he got back, or at least until that evening.

* * *

Now that it was all said and done, Mac was completely embarrassed by the fact that he had freaked out so terribly in front of Bozer and Riley. It was inexcusable. He never should've lost his cool like that. Aside from being completely unprofessional, it could change how they think of him. Mac didn't think that they had ever seen him freak out like that before - well, maybe Bozer had, but it had certainly been years and years - and he just didn't want them to think less of him for it, even if it was well deserved. He knew that Jack would hate he was thinking that way, but he couldn't help it. It had been so ingrained in him from the time that is mom died that he should never show that weakness to anyone, and now he had. He was glad that neither one of them mentioned it on the way back, or mentioned that he was acting different at all. But he knew they noticed.

Even hours later, sitting around the fire with his friends, he couldn't help but think of everything that had happened that day. And Matty was right, he did need to talk to Jack. But he'd called Bozer first? No, he hadn't called Bozer, he'd called Mac, but Mac had left his phone by the fire when he went to talk to Matty, and Bozer had answered for him.

But Mac could tell that something was off with Jack while he was telling his stories. It was subtle enough that no one else probably noticed, but Jack was worried about something. After enough storytelling, Mac took his phone back from the group and walked into the house to talk to Jack alone. He needed that, and hopefully everyone else would understand.

"We've been doin' this too much lately," Jack said. Mac could tell that his voice was strained, that he was trying too hard to sound casual.

"Yeah," Mac replied, forcing a smile even though he knew Jack couldn't see it. "I really wish you'd been here on this one. I really wish you were here now." Jack was the only one he could ever be open with, and vulnerable. He loved his team to death, and he wished that he could show this side of himself to them, but he couldn't, he needed to be strong for them. Jack was the only person he didn't always have to be strong for. Mac wandered through the house and ended up sitting down on the porch outside his front door. The night air was cool and felt nice, but he was far enough away that no one else would be able to hear him. "You're coming home soon, right?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. Even though it was Jack, he still felt ashamed at needing that comfort, needing that assurance that Jack was going to come back and not leave him. A small part of him knew that was all James' doing, that it was because his need for comfort as a child was so completely rejected that it impacted him to this day, but that was something for another time.

"Bud, you just say the word and I'm on my way now. All you gotta do is say you need me home now and I'll be there in a few hours, I promise," Jack assured him. Mac could hear the emotion and sincerity in his voice.

"Don't say that, Jack," he replied, some nervous laughter escaping.

"Why not? You know I will always come the moment you need me. Nothing could ever stop me from coming home to you," Jack said, sounding genuinely confused.

"Because-" Mac stopped, suddenly choked up. "Because then I'll tell you to come home right now, and I can't do that, I can't be selfish. Other people need you too, not just me."

"But no one is more important to me than you, kid, you know that. Please know that," Jack pleaded with him. "And it's okay, because if this isn't wrapped up in the next eighteen hours, I'm skippin' out, they can find someone else. You're more important to me than any drug cartel."

"It's okay, Jack, really, you don't have to do that, I'll be okay, I promise, I just need some time to relax and I'll be alright-"

"Hey, hey, hey," Jack cut him off. "Slow down, bud. Just from that I know you're not okay. Now you tell me what happened, and then we'll discuss whether or not I stay for longer than eighteen hours."

Mac took a deep breath before he began. "Okay, but you can't interrupt, alright? Because I know you're gonna freak out, and this will just be a lot easier if I can tell you from start to finish, then fill in the details where they matter afterwards, okay?"

"Alright, but I don't like it," Jack replied with a sigh. Mac knew he was just doing that to be annoying and make him smile. He appreciated that more than Jack would ever know.

Mac started delving into the story of what had happened, starting with meeting Eileen at the charity dinner - which he had really wished Jack had been there with him for, all veteran's events were just easier with Jack, but he left that out - and going through everything up until Bozer and Riley had run in. "I was so scared, Jack," he muttered. "I really thought I wasn't gonna be able to do it and I was just so scared, and Jack I-" he broke off. He couldn't say that, couldn't be that vulnerable, not even with Jack.

"You what, buddy? It's okay, kiddo, you can tell me anything, you know that," Jack said, his words soothing some of Mac's worries.

"I just wanted you to be there," Mac whispered. "When I first saw him in those catacombs, when he kidnapped me and I woke up in that room with the bomb and he was talking about how he had set up the bomb that killed Pena to kill me, when Eileen killed him and the dead man switch went off, when I was looking at the bomb and I didn't see any options, I was so scared, Jack." He paused to take a deep breath and calm his racing emotions. "I just wanted you to be there and tell me it was going to be okay." Mac stopped to wipe at his eyes, emotion stubbornly swelling. He shouldn't have said anything, he shouldn't have told Jack that, he should've just kept it to himself. "But it's all over and fine now, so you don't have to worry," he finished, clearing his throat. He wouldn't tell Jack about the other bomb. That would just make him worry and he didn't want other people to be burdened with worry because of him.

"Oh, kid, I wish I'd been there. I would do anything to turn back time so I could leave this country and be there with you through it all, but I am so, so proud of you. You did so good, bud, you did amazing, and you saved Paris. You should be proud of yourself too. You did so good, you really did, but I know there's more to this than that," Jack said, his voice going gentle as if preparing to deliver some kind of blow. "I know you're still scared. I can hear it in your voice. So what else is goin' on, kiddo? Why are you still scared?"

"I'll be okay, really," Mac insisted. "Matty said not to worry about it."

"It doesn't matter what she said," Jack quickly responded, stopping Mac before he could make any more excuses or justifications. "What matters is that you're still scared and I am going to sit here in this bar on this phone with you until the phone dies or you tell me what's botherin' you, and bud, I got a charger, so spill."

Mac smiled in spite of himself. That was so very Jack. But then he remembered what the Ghost had told him and sobered up once more.

"He said he put a bomb somewhere just for me, and that he's been trying to kill me since January 2011. He sounded just like Murdoc, Jack. He kept talking about me like Murdoc does, like I'm some puzzle he just had to solve by killing me. I hate it, Jack." He took a breath. "I hate it. Why are there so many people like that around me?"

"Aww, kid," Jack started with a sigh. "As for the bomb, Matty was right. If we have no actionable intel, then there's nothing we can do for the time being. As for what he said, and him being like Murdoc, the truth of it is that you're amazing. You are so brilliant and you just have this purity, this light-"

"Jack-"

"No, let me finish. They can see how kind and good you are and they are just so evil that they feel threatened by it. When people as evil as the Ghost and Murdoc come across someone as wholly good as you, they can sense it immediately, and they just have to do everything they can to snuff your light out. But they can't do it. No one can do it, because light always beats darkness, and you, kid, you are nothing but light."

Mac honestly didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure he could say anything at all with a steady voice. He quickly wiped at his eyes again - it must have been allergy season in Paris or something - before saying, in a voice much quieter than his normal one, "thanks, Jack."

"Always, kid, always. Now this op should be wrapped up in eighteen hours, but if it's not, I'm comin' home to you, okay?"

"Okay," Mac replied. He knew it was pointless to argue with Jack on this point, and besides, if he were being honest with himself, he really did want Jack to come home immediately, op in Brazil be damned. But he would never tell him that.

"I love you, Mac, and I am so, so proud of you," Jack said, his voice dripping with sincerity.

"Thanks, Jack," Mac responded, his own voice breaking. "I love you too. Please stay safe in Brazil." He wanted to add 'I need you to come home', but Mac figured that he'd been emotional enough for one night.

"Oh, safety's my middle name."

"I thought 'Wyatt Danger Ladies' Man' was your middle name," Mac replied with a smile. This was more like it.

"Yeah, it's actually 'Wyatt Danger Safety Ladies' Man'. You know those long family names, but hey, you stay out of trouble alright?" Jack said. Mac could practically hear his smile.

"Well, you know me, Angus 'Danger Magnet' MacGyver."

"That sounds about right," Jack said with a sigh. "You take care, kid. I'll be home soon, I promise."

"I'll be waiting for you." Mac didn't mean to make that as emotional as it sounded, but it had been a day to say the least, so he figured he could be afforded some leeway. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, kiddo," Jack replied, his voice calm and soothing enough that Mac could've fallen asleep right there on the porch if he'd wanted to. But all he wanted was for Jack to come home.

Next time Jack was going to be sent off on some other mission just because they needed some extra manpower or a skilled strategist or a seasoned Delta operative with them, Mac was going to put his foot down that either Jack didn't go, or he got to go with them. Everything just worked better when they were together. He didn't know if he could get Matty on board with that plan, but he could certainly try.


End file.
